You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘depression’ category.
I keep feeling that I’ve hit the end of the line. It gets to a point when you just have no more resources within yourself left to draw on. So many jobs that he’s perfect for, so many interviews that have been nailed. So many weeks checking email and messages waiting for that offer to come and the anticipation that you swore you wouldn’t give in to after so many rejections, only to have it all dashed again. So much time wasted. Hours and hours of work that go into the résumé, the cover letter, the thank-you notes, the phone interviews, the commute into the interview, the gas and train fare, the dry cleaning bills, the networking, the printer ink… and with one terse email, it’s all been for nothing and you dont have anything else to move on to. And they don’t give you an explanation or feedback or anything, and they don’t owe you, and they even now are in a position of power over you so you can’t ask for even that one little thing; where did it go wrong? How do we start this whole process all over again?
And now we are coming into the holiday season, and we know that there is no way he is going to be working before Christmas, and companies are on hold essentially until the New Year, and every résumé you send out is even more likely to languish in some HR hell hole. But my kids are starting to notice that something is dreadfully wrong with mama and dada, and I don’t know what to tell them anymore.
It’s torture. It’s torture. I’m not overstating this. My adrenal glands are frazzled. This is torture.
We just got our final unemployment check. $600 that is going to have to last for………ever. We also just had to turn on our heat. J had an interview, but he has had a lot of interviews. It went really well, but they all go really well. We are sitting around, waiting but we are always waiting. I applied for a job answering the phone and taking orders at a local pizza place. They needed someone who speaks English. I didn’t get the job. Seasonal help at a local department store chain restocking at night is the next step. I hope they will consider someone with a Master’s degree.
Baby, it’s cold outside. It’s also depressing outside, so sometimes one just needs to self-medicate*. I think this calls for my favorite winter drink, a hot toddy.
Get a huge and well insulated mug that will stay nice and hot for long enough to sip the whole thing down. Put about a tablespoon of honey in the bottom, toss in a slice of lemon and about an ounce of dark rum (or, whiskey if you’re so inclined). Brew a cuppa tea. I particularly love the Ginger Tea made by Yogi, though I think it may have been dumbed down lately. It used to be much stronger. Sometimes I will add an additional slice of fresh ginger to the water to strong it up. When your tea is ready, top off your big giant mug. Enjoy it, because it will make you warm and happy, something I cherish a lot more these days then I used to.
*No, I’m not advocating that you drink your worries away. Your worries will still be there after your toddy is long gone. And, please don’t drink and drive. Really. This is something you should enjoy in the relative comfort of your own home. Driving drunk is about one of the most selfish and irresponsible acts, so don’t fucking do it.